Don’t grow the Tom Cruise purple

Purple budHumboldt County resident-in-spirit Tom Cruise is threatening to sue manufacturers of a marijuana strain called “Tom Cruise Purple.”

The strain is reportedly packaged in vials featuring a laughing Tom Cruise and “is currently being sold in licensed marijuana clubs in Northern California,” according to the Chronicle.

Anyone caught growing the purple herb will be punished via abduction by aliens.

27 Responses to “Don’t grow the Tom Cruise purple”

  1. Auntie Mayme Says:

    The way Tom is so vehemently opposed to drugs, even perscription drug, I wonder if one can even get high off of “Tom Cruise Purple”. Has he visited our local Scientology facility near Capetown?

  2. tad Says:

    Peace be with you

    I want to try some! I’ve heard about pot that “can experience hallucinations,” but then when you smoke it doesn’t. I think Tom is probably suing because it doesn’t really cause hallucinations. Is it organic? Is it outdoor? Is it Humboldt? If not I wouldn’t want my name on it either.

    love eternal
    tad

  3. Anonymous Says:

    I wouldn’t want anything even remotely connected to Tom Cruise near me. Does it make people crazy like he is?

  4. Anonymous Says:

    I thought Tad didn’t use chemicals.

  5. Anonymous Says:

    Plants are chemicals?

  6. Anonymous Says:

    Don’t even HINT that tad might be using chemicals, or there might be another nuclear meltdown!

  7. Anonymous Says:

    You know, like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s sofa.

  8. ShirleyValentine Says:

    Heraldo,

    RE: Auntie Mayme’s comment about Scientology Compound.

    Have you ever written anything about this place? The huge underground vault with all of L.Ron Hubbard’s writings?

  9. Heraldo Says:

    Yes, Shirley. Click on the first link in my post.

  10. ShirleyValentine Says:

    Thanks Heraldo. I didn’t read the links until after I posted.
    My Mom has been there several times. She won’t even tell ME what she saw! The people who formerly lived on the property were good friends and know the person who lives on site now.

  11. Porfiry Petrovich Says:

    Tom Cruise is such a kook! When will he just go away!? He should be flattered that he’s at least got enough credibility left to have some ganja named after him.

    As for the clubs, I think it’s a great marketing tool for them, and an appropriate name for a strain considering how loco Cruise is.

    Cruise is loaded (with money that is), and I wouldn’t fuck with his lawyers. Then again, a lot of these pot clubs aren’t exactly short on cash either. I hope Cruise tries to sue and looses because he’s such a con-man, egomaniac, little pretty boy brat who can’t even act all that well.

    As for the growers and clubs, I think ya’ll should grow and sell the shit outta the Tom Cruise Purple! It’s a free country, and a free market. And not that this is particularly relevant, but marijuana should be legal anyway, so maybe this whole Purple Cruise thing will draw some humor, and dare I say normalcy (since a lot of people like the guy) towards marijuana in general. Just a thought… .

    This post isn’t as well thought out or articulated as I’d liked, so I hope ya’ll get my drift.

    ~ PP is grinning :-)

    p.s. Hey Tom! Light[en] up guy (pun intended)!

  12. Anonymous Says:

    Ponzi scheme (look it up) = “Church” of “Scientology.”

  13. Porfiry Petrovich Says:

    But is the Tom Cruise Purple a potent, tasty smoke? That’s all I’d really want to know, that’s all that maters, right?

    PP just for funnin’ it :-)

  14. theo therme Says:

    PP,
    youll get ripped off if you try to grow it….we are all on to you…..josh told us where you live…

  15. Porfiry Petrovich Says:

    theo, i’m not trippin, brau, i was actualy thinking of asking josh to be my partner since he’s such a great business man, and such a fair guy. you wanna get in on it with us, bro?

  16. Porfiry Petrovich Says:

    we’re about ready to power up the lights theo, but i was wondering if you could give us a market analysis and total gross and net yeild figures. :-)

  17. TrafficoneMan Says:

    did some work up in humbolt bout 2 years back its the best smoke i have ever smoked and im from ireland so i have been to amsterdam numerous times there is great stuff there but the humbolt weed is the shit i could not speak or walk after it so if this tom cruise stuff is humbolt grown ide reckon its pretty potent and i wud like to give it a go

  18. MetaMuseAl Says:

    O no mon…purple cruise is passe so they be crossing it with “Hoover-lite” from the Arcata townhouse/pot labs to make a fruity tasting liteheaded blend guaranteed to suspend deep critical thinking while simultaneously inflating ones self importance.
    The hitch? The plants stay short and tend to slouch, but when the genetic kinks are worked out.

  19. cheese & meth..I Love it Says:

    WHEW…people do any of you KNOW the history of Tom Cruise Purple??? I dont think you do..do you? lets get it right, lets READ the history of this narcotic and then maybe you can talk on the so called Tom Cruise Purp. GEEZ….by the way..anyone know how the hell I can get to the magical and enchanting Crystal Palace yet?? Tom and I are very curious as to its history and revelance in modern rural humboldt.

  20. TrafficoneMan Says:

    cheese & meth type selhurst park into googel and you will find the way to crystal palace

  21. Anonymous Says:

    I’d pay any price to see a moon pitcher of John Wayne punching Tom Cruise right in the mouth.

  22. Guest Says:

    Does it make you gay?

  23. Anonymous Says:

    ShirleyValentine Says:

    April 8, 2008 at 1:31 pm
    Heraldo,

    RE: Auntie Mayme’s comment about Scientology Compound.

    Have you ever written anything about this place? The huge underground vault with all of L.Ron Hubbard’s writings?

    ~is that where all the bodies are buried?~

  24. Heraldo Says:

    Try this one:

    Bart Simpson kicks down to Humboldt County?

  25. Anony.Miss Says:

    I remember this topic came up before. There were quite a few locals (close relatives of mine, for two) who where friends with the contractor and were allowed to come as a group to visit this vault before it was up and running. They didn’t go all the way inside- that wasn’t allowed. From what they told me, there are copper disks in the vault that were imprinted with the history of the world, etc as well as L Ron Hubbard’s teachings so that when the earth is destroyed. future beings will know what we did here.

    I heard it was larger (much) than 8,000 square feet- that is about the size of a three story Victorian or a couple of Hewlitt Ranch subdivision houses. I believe it is at least as large as a football field, but perhaps the stories have gotten bigger as the years have gone by.

    Correct me if I’m wrong.

  26. Humboldtdude Says:

    I heard of a strain called the Zenu that is supposed to be the bomb. People are talking about it around Humboldt and in the clubs. It is a green bud strain not purple. It makes you see flying saucers and you feel like you were thrown in a volcano. I guess the scientology lawyers haven’t snubbed that one out yet.

  27. Toroaussie Says:

    tom cruise acid haahaha

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