GLENN FRANCO SIMMONS: The Opinionator
Musings of a self-aggrandized newspaper editor
Pick your way through the 800-word essay by Eureka Reporter editor Glenn Franco Simmons and behold a very confused man. Striking out at those who disagree with his views on police, the law, and the state of your soul Simmons trips over his own verbiage.
Taking aim, he begins:
Some community residents believe the Eureka Police Department acted too quickly and aggressively in the shootings of Christopher Burgess and Cheri Lynn Moore, but they have been virtually mute on the shootings of Jonni Honda and Zachary Cruz Cook.
After encouraging readers to lump all police shootings into the “good” category, he later discovers not all shootings are the same:
Doesn’t each situation bring different variables?
Now he’s catching on.
Do you really believe that there is a cookie-cutter response to potentially lethal standoffs?
No, Glenn, we don’t.
Next we walk through Glenn’s lawyerly fantasy. Lucky for the city, he will not justify the shootings thusly to a jury:
Even though Moore was not under the influence of meth at the time of her death, it could be argued that her alleged past use of meth and other drugs could have contributed to her deteriorating mental condition.
And then we really get down to business:
You call for a police review commission, but where are your calls for addressing the real cause — a spiritual void — in our community?
How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?
Let us pray:
We can have all the police review boards you want, but if we as a community, as a society, continue to ignore God, we do so at our own peril.
To recap: those who believe in the capital-G-God must also believe the police are above criticism, deserved or not. And as you can see, those with faith in God and police don’t abuse drugs. Phew! What a relief. Not a single cop with a drug problem. Everyone else is a godless, cop-hating druggie.
So there you have it, folks. It’s a duel-diagnosis, if you will.
Feel free to send Glenn your responses, even if you don’t agree. But be warned, such disagreements are only “contemptible ruminations” by crappy people.