Home > Uncategorized > GLENN FRANCO SIMMONS: The Opinionator


Musings of a self-aggrandized newspaper editor

Pick your way through the 800-word essay by Eureka Reporter editor Glenn Franco Simmons and behold a very confused man. Striking out at those who disagree with his views on police, the law, and the state of your soul Simmons trips over his own verbiage.

Taking aim, he begins:

Some community residents believe the Eureka Police Department acted too quickly and aggressively in the shootings of Christopher Burgess and Cheri Lynn Moore, but they have been virtually mute on the shootings of Jonni Honda and Zachary Cruz Cook.

After encouraging readers to lump all police shootings into the “good” category, he later discovers not all shootings are the same:

Doesn’t each situation bring different variables?

Now he’s catching on.

Do you really believe that there is a cookie-cutter response to potentially lethal standoffs?

No, Glenn, we don’t.

Next we walk through Glenn’s lawyerly fantasy. Lucky for the city, he will not justify the shootings thusly to a jury:

Even though Moore was not under the influence of meth at the time of her death, it could be argued that her alleged past use of meth and other drugs could have contributed to her deteriorating mental condition.

And then we really get down to business:

You call for a police review commission, but where are your calls for addressing the real cause — a spiritual void — in our community?

How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?

Let us pray:

We can have all the police review boards you want, but if we as a community, as a society, continue to ignore God, we do so at our own peril.

To recap: those who believe in the capital-G-God must also believe the police are above criticism, deserved or not. And as you can see, those with faith in God and police don’t abuse drugs. Phew! What a relief. Not a single cop with a drug problem. Everyone else is a godless, cop-hating druggie.

So there you have it, folks. It’s a duel-diagnosis, if you will.

Feel free to send Glenn your responses, even if you don’t agree. But be warned, such disagreements are only “contemptible ruminations” by crappy people.

  1. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 3:26 pm

    Wow, what a nut. I guess the religious whacko community of Eureka is live and well. Where do these people come from?

  2. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Maybe people can ask or encourage the DA to make his ruling or decision on the Moore and Burgess shootings? Hopefully his official public decision will calm some of the tit for tat anti cop stuff down. All this rant about cops does no good for anyone, even those in favor of a police review commitee. The dust can’t settle until the DA makes a public decision on these incidents.

  3. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    Simmons is in over his head when he tries to write anything. Yes, the religious whacko community is alive and well in Eureka. As all over the country, they have allied themselves with the likes of Rob Arkley to elect people like Dubya. The world is going to hell, and they are part of making it happen. Bring on the rapture–the rest of you can just go to hell.

  4. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    Heraldo wrote: “How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”

    Isn’t that a line in Pink Floyd’s The Wall?

  5. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    I read the essay and thought it well written. But I can see how a certain segment of our community would not like it.

    For those who saw the photo’s of the cops from the last shooting incident that were in both papers, did any of them look happy? There were no smiles. These events are not fun and games for the cops or their family and friends, as pointed out in the essay. Maybe those that are not fan’s of the cops can at least show a sliver of human kindness?

  6. Heraldo
    January 7, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    Isn’t that a line in Pink Floyd’s The Wall?


  7. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    Oh, I see where all the little heathen children go to post their trivial little nothings. You put so much energy into hating the Lord, when that energy should be going into seeking forgiveness. Do you think you are immune from his grasp? Do you honestly believe Lucifer will look out for you on judgement day?

    As for the Police, they are not above the Lord! None of you are! The recent police shootings and infestation of drugs in this community is a result of the distance you have placed yourself from the Lord. You have noone to blame but yourself. This culture of sodomy, drug fueled debauchery, cross dressing, intercourse without marriage, abortion, and unfettered condom use has destroyed you moral compass, your connection with the Lord!

    None of this has gone without notice! The lord’s anger is growing, and with it the sands of Eureka’s hourglass deplete. Soon, even the Lord will be unable to contain his rightous anger and all you devilworshippers will be consumed by fire and a devestation unlike any other. Repent your sins now. Read the Holy Bible and get your lives into order!

  8. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    You talking about Rob Arkley?

  9. Anon.R.mous
    January 7, 2007 at 6:05 pm

    It’s from Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall, Part II. The Wall was the complete name of the album.

  10. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 6:47 pm

    Speaking of Lord Arkley, did you know he fired his Comptroller David Karisny a few days ago? Seems Mr. Karisney knew too much about where bodies were buried and how ill-gotten gains were gotten. He reportedly received a generous fee for agreeing to never divulge anything. I thought Heraldo and some of his readers would like to know.

  11. Anonymous
    January 7, 2007 at 6:51 pm

    You might think your blog serves some constructive purpose Heraldo, but it seems to me to be mostly a forum for little hateful people to be heard. Pathetic really.

  12. Heraldo
    January 8, 2007 at 12:15 am

    Just taking a hint from the Eureka Reporter.

  13. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 12:49 am

    “The lord’s anger is growing…” So, God speaks to us through His followers who leave comments on blogs?

  14. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:20 am

    little glenn franco simpleton: crusader of justice and co-protector of Israel (along with rex bohn).

    glenn franco simpleton – WHO HAS NEVER SERVED HIS COUNTRY IN BATTLE

    just another loudmouth chickenhawk like rush limbaugh
    and george bush

  15. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 10:32 am

    Name calling diminishes credibility. Addtionally, if not SERVING YOUR COUNTRY IN BATTLE removes your qualification to offer an opinion, cannot that then be extrapolated to those that profess to be able to do the cops’ job better than them if they themselves have not “served”? Pick up a gun/flashlight/hankie/whatever you want to use, and stand a post!

  16. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 11:53 am

    Heraldo, you and your fellow ranters need help. Get it and spare the community.

  17. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 1:48 pm

    General Franco Simmons has done it again. Just when you thought the editor of the crappy Arkley paper couldn’t prove himself to be dumber than you already knew he was……
    P.S. – Jesus loves cops who shoot poor people. (The Book of Arkley: Chapter 3, Verse 6)

  18. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 2:22 pm

    10:53 – you keep repeating the same ol’, same ol…get some new material.

  19. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    Pick up a gun/flashlight/hankie/whatever you want to use, and stand a post!

    But be careful, brandishing a hankie at a police officer may warant the use of deadly force.

  20. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    No – I think only a knife, shotgun or flare gun will do that.

  21. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    Franco certainly has a lot of nerve.
    Who or what does he think he is to deserve taking shots at the spiritual state of our community?

    This isn’t the first time he has held himself up as the judge of all humankind within the borders of our fair County.

    What Gall! What a mental and moral pipsqueak!

    Fortunately, we have his rival at the Times-Standard, Rich Somerville, to maintain a sort of balance.

    Somerville first incites riots against the Eureka Police Department and then writes moralistic editorials scolding our community for its lack of unity, among its other failures.

    Why can’t we all just get along?
    Why indeed?

  22. Eric V. Kirk
    January 8, 2007 at 5:53 pm

    When I was in college at UCSC we had a religious history professor named Noel King. He was famous for a talk he gave on early Christianity, which impressed a group of evangelical Christians who visited the campus from nearby Scotts Valley or Watsonville or someplace. Aftewards they approached him and asked him if he didn’t feel it was a shame that Christ had been chased off the campus. He responded, “I certainly do. And I’m certain if Christ was still here the entire campus would be Budhhist by now.”

  23. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 5:54 pm

    Anyone who takes anything General Franco Simmons says seriously is missing almost as many brain cells as Cherie Arkley and George Bush, Jr.

  24. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    Glenn is a very classy guy. We often disagree but he is always clear and straight up on his positions. I thought Charles was too,althought I disagreed with him more often. Sommerville has little grasp of this community and seems to be shooting from the hip at all times. He doesn’t seem to care where his hot lead hits. T/S will either explode our ares or implode itself if he doesn’t get it,and quickly. Make no mistake about it,I’m not attacking his journalist skills just his aim.

  25. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 7:57 pm


    That’s a very cool story. Churchillesque in style.

    Almost as good as that line in Patton where the Chaplains saw that he had a Bible on his table and asked if he actually read it?

    (In the movie) he responded “Every God damned day.”

  26. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 8:01 pm

    Glenn is an impressive guy.

    He tends to write with his heart instead of his head…good for a poet…bad mistake for an editor.

  27. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 8:36 pm

    Glenn is an average editor who is learning on the job. He is a very NICE guy however-and I would tend to disagree that it is a BAD mistake to write with the heart rather than the head.

    One learns more from mistakes than success. Glenn pays attention to the blogs-if he doesn’t get too wounded from the commentary, he will learn from it and be better for it. There is no equal to experience.

  28. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 8:53 pm

    121. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
    122. Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.

  29. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 8:54 pm

    131. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

  30. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 8:57 pm

    161. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

  31. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    199. If god is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

  32. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    215. If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

  33. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    236…just so no one feels left out.

    It’s better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are a fool than to open it and remove any lingering doubt.

  34. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:05 pm

    “Glenn is an average editor…”

    You are too kind.

  35. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:06 pm
  36. Anonymous
    January 8, 2007 at 9:47 pm


    That is inspired.

    Good obs

  37. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 1:30 pm

    Carson Park Ranger’s right. Too say Simmons is “average” is more praise than he personally or professionally deserves. Did you hear about that e-mail Simmons sent to water board candidate Jake Pickering after he lost to Rupp? Simmons asked Pickering something to the effect of “why did you get your ass kicked so bad?” Kind of childish and unprofessional, don’t you think? I loved what Pickering did in response. He sent the Simmons e-mail to all the blogs and papers and totally pissed off Simmons. Simmons then wrote a column blasting Pickering for standing up for himself. Typical Arkley bullshit! No wonder the Eureka Reporter is the gigantic joke it is these days.

  38. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 2:23 pm

    CPR, don’t you have a conflict of interest picking on the other print media?

    Just sayin…..


  39. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    Conflict of interest is what makes the world go round JMan…

  40. Heraldo
    January 9, 2007 at 3:28 pm

    Sales of the “priceless” Eureka Reporter will not be affected by the comments of CPR or anyone else.

  41. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 3:33 pm

    311. Sex on tv can’t hurt unless you fall off.

  42. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    318. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

  43. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 5:29 pm

    “Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.” I guess that’s why Bush is escalating the war in Iraq; the sick Nazi must be enjoying it. I’m sure he’s laughing all the way to the bank. Soon enough he’ll be crying all the way to the Hague for his upcoming war crimes trial. Will Bush hang or will he be lethally injected Texas style?

  44. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 5:56 pm

    The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

  45. Anonymous
    January 9, 2007 at 6:54 pm

    is it true that:
    Jesus loves the little heathens, all the heathens in the world. Red and yellow black and white they are precious in his site, Jesus loves the little heathens of the world…is it? cmon say it isn’t so, I dare ya!

  46. Anonymous
    January 10, 2007 at 11:40 am

    Jesus was not only a heathen; Jesus was a gay black communist hippie. Stick that one in your crack pipe and smoke it, Mr. President! Whenever I read anything written by General Franco Simmons I’m convinced that Simmons must be smoking the same crack as W.

  47. Anonymous
    January 10, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    You know, that spiritual void nonsense is about as funny as some of the other things I’ve seen in Simmons’ column lately. There was the attack against the Times-Standard for the homeless story. And my favorite had to be Simmons total blowup after water board candidate Jake Pickering forwarded Simmons’ e-mail to all the papers, etc. where Simmons’ the day after the election had sent an e-mail to Pickering asking him why he got his ASS KICKED by Bruce Rupp. Not like Rupp’s millions of dollars had anything to do with it. Simmons isn’t to be taken seriously. Hell, neither is the Eureka Reporter for that matter. Ever read that piece of garbage? I try not to. I have better things to do.

  48. Anonymous
    January 10, 2007 at 9:33 pm

    Sounds like class warfare here. This isn’t about good vs evil-its about the top of the heap vs the havenots and you’re pretty pissed you can’t afford a new iphone huh?

  49. Anonymous
    January 10, 2007 at 11:39 pm

    Class warfare IS all about good v. evil.

  50. Anonymous
    January 11, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    I don’t agree that poor people are evil anymore than I would agree the wealthy are evil.

    Some people gets more breaks, are born into families that can afford education and by proximity can get their kids more chances to succeed.

    And of course, some people are too busy with their addictions and other problems to pay much attention to their kids-it still doesn’t make them evil.

    We all do the best we can with what we’ve got and some of us even think what we have is great, even if its small in comparison.

  51. Anonymous
    January 12, 2007 at 12:05 am

    The wealthiest one percent of the world own eighty percent of the world’s wealth. Twenty four thousand people die each day for lack of food. Free trade with Mexico allowed American tax subsidized corn to flood the mexican market undercutting Mexican farmers,forcing them off their land into city slums. Ultimatly many of them end up here in America as illegal migrant workers.

    Our government in partnership with giant American engineering and construction firms and with money borrowed from international banks,(The Corporatocracy), have for decades been making multi-billion dollar deals with corrupt third world despots using bribe money.
    The despot takes the bribe, often by way of a cash deposit in a numbered Swiss bank account and the rest of the money is ear-marked for corporations such as Caterpillar, Bechtel, and Kellogg, Brown, and Root. The developing country gets a deep sea port or electrification and a highway through their virgin rain forest. Of course these multi-billion dollar projects usually help the wealthy class, but it is the poor that end up footing most of the bill. Often the payment obligations cannot be met, so our corporatocracy, forces a restructured payment plan with that country that negotiates downward the percentage of taxes paid toward social programs–free education and subsidized medical.

    Sometimes when payments fall behind, the corporatocracy negotiates sweet deals for that countries oil or forests. Sometimes when the loan is in default it is used to leverage a vote favorable to the USA at the UN. The Corporatocracy has enslaved millions around the world and in our own hemisphere. And with the use of our military and the CIA have over turned democraticly elected governments and propped up a corruptable despot to do it.

    Between forty seven and fifty million people live below the poverty line in this country. Many struggle to put food on the table and their children often go to bed hungry. Often it is a single parent family with an old beater of a car with out insurance because the kid got sick and the tight financial circumstances did not allow all ends to be met. It is a recipe for disaster, that way to many in this country live with every day. Often they have no safety net. Many fall between the cracks… the car breaks down, or they get pulled over and they have no proof of insurance- third offence.

    Most people in this country don’t complain about the pentagon spending sixty percent of our taxes or that our military costs four hundred fifty billion dollars a year. And many of them don’t realize that we spend more on those things than the rest of the world together. But mention socialized medicine in this country and people are likely to give you look as though you might be given to strange behavior and flightsof fantasy.

    Having said all this, someone may find fault with me if I don’t mention the fact we live on a planet that struggles to support six billion people. Before we humans started burning coal with the advent of the chimney we numbered around five hundred million. By eighteen thirty our population doubled and for the first time we numbered one billion.By nineteen thirty that number doubled because we had started using oil. By nineteen sixty we numbered three billion. Nineteen seventy five, four billion. Nineteen ninety, five billion. Two thousand five, six billion…

    Our use of fossil based fuels is loading the atmosphere with carbon dioxide. When a gallon of gasoline is burned, each carbon atom that was in that gallon of gas combines with two atoms of oxygen. Oxygen atoms are heavier than carbon atoms so that gallon of gas gets converted to about twenty five pounds of carbon dioxide.

    Global warming is tracking along in direct correlation to the amount of carbon dioxide we are pumping into the atmosphere. Scientists project a twenty foot sea level rise this century, as arctic snow and ice melt ever more rapidly. It may come sooner than later.

    Our government has had it’s collective head way up it’s ass. We are headed for a total infrastructure melt down. Our government should be getting us all prepared for this. I am afraid that we are going to be on our own.

  52. Anonymous
    January 12, 2007 at 2:19 am

    Some truths, some unfortunate exaggerations.

    I will reread the post above before offering a most comprehensive comment.

  53. Beth
    January 12, 2007 at 10:32 am

    What you posted is still unrelated to picking on wealthy individuals in our small community. Interestingly the ones that get picked on the most are the ones who put more money into the local economy than the others combined (by far). Lets get right down to it-the Arkley family/SN is one of the larger employers, paying top wages and benefits, gifting millions a year to local buildings, groups, schools, the art community, more than I or you are aware of.

    Changing the world should start at home-why don’t you volunteer at a school or the rescue mission?

  54. Anonymous
    January 12, 2007 at 12:06 pm

    Women got the right to vote by marching in the streets.

  55. Anonymous
    January 12, 2007 at 9:07 pm

    The Arkleys do all kinds of things for the community that most never even hear about. Find someone else to rag on ! How about that stuffed shirt the Carson Park Ranger? He slams Franco Simmons for being “average”. Who the F*&^ is the CPR. The CPR rags on annoymous bloggers but he goes by the handle Carson Park Ranger ! Give me a break.

  56. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 11:57 am

    I miss Connie Rux.

  57. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    The only reason Glenn is average: his limited world view. He doesn’t come off as well read or thoughtful in the larger perspective-more of a knee jerk reactionary.

    Glenn’s seeking yet further opinion of hotbed issues when most people would a. like to move on or b. have some resolution was parochial.

    Criticism isn’t received well; where a mature individual would see it as a growth opportunity. AP style isn’t everything.

  58. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    “The CPR rags on annoymous bloggers but he goes by the handle Carson Park Ranger!”
    The Carson Park Ranger simply wishes that more people would adopt blogonyms, so that we wouldn’t be forced to address people as “anonymous 08:07,” and so on. Futhermore, the Carson Park Ranger is hardly anonymous. You are invited to Google him to know his real name.

    “He slams Franco Simmons for being ‘average’.”
    Sorry. Should he be congratulated?

  59. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    “He slams Franco Simmons for being ‘average’.” Sorry. Should he be congratulated?

    Nah, a couple of others picked up on that around the same time…

  60. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    so the very short solution is nuclear,instantly. Twenty years without coal power plants pouring 60+ % of the problem into the air would gives us adequite time to adress the other 40-% individual uses.. Like the man said”if you ain’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”. Like the young man who cut off his arm, squashed under a bolder, to save his life you’re either in the game or dead.

  61. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    5:17 are you lost??

  62. Anonymous
    January 13, 2007 at 8:29 pm


    Nuclear may be the short solution. With China’s coal reserves fueling the fastest growing economy in the world, seventy percent of their production is still used for home heating and cooking. That country adds an enormous amount of co2, so2 and particulates to the atmosphere.

    Average temperature in the arctic and subarctic have already risen by eight to ten degrees. Permafrost is melting and releasing huge amounts of trapped co2 and methane.

    There is more co2 in the atmosphere now than there has been in the last ten million years. Every decade is hotter than the previous decade since 1950.

    With all it’s problems, nuclear may provide the short solution.

    There doesn’t seem to be much movement in that direction presently.

    Iran would be the exception, I supose.

  63. Anon.R.mous
    January 14, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    Anonymous said…

    little glenn franco simpleton: crusader of justice and co-protector of Israel (along with rex bohn).

    glenn franco simpleton – WHO HAS NEVER SERVED HIS COUNTRY IN BATTLE

    just another loudmouth chickenhawk like rush limbaugh
    and george bush

    So what do you think of my plan to allow people who served the only people who can vote rule, like Starship Troopers?

  64. Anonymous
    January 15, 2007 at 2:24 pm

    Anon.r.mous, if your ideas had merit, people would post on your blog.

  65. Anonymous
    January 16, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Simmons is a target for many reasons. First and foremost, Simmons is clearly not qualified to be an editor of a real newspaper. (That’s why the Eureka Reporter hired him – much like the tools at Fox News, the Arkleys’ Eureka Reporter is not real news, it’s propaganda for their rich owners and their fascist friends in the GOP.) And Simmons is so self-righteous – on top of being incompetent – that he rubs the readers the wrong way with his uniformed columns. He should try to write about something he has some experience with, instead of telling everyone in Eureka that they’re lacking spirituality.

  66. Anonymous
    January 16, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    The Eureka Reporter sucks. Anyone connected with that disgrace of a paper should be ashamed.

  67. Anonymous
    January 17, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Everytime I’ve read the Eureka Reporter I couldn’t help but laugh. What a ridiculous piece of Arkley promoting crap! Simmons should be lucky he has a job at all considering his obvious lack of writing skills.

  68. Anonymous
    January 19, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    I just read something Simmons wrote about how his paper doesn’t censor religious opinions. They just censor every other opinion Arkley disagrees with. The Eureka Reporter is the worst paper in Humboldt County.

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