Home > Uncategorized > Don’t grow the Tom Cruise purple

Don’t grow the Tom Cruise purple

Purple budHumboldt County resident-in-spirit Tom Cruise is threatening to sue manufacturers of a marijuana strain called “Tom Cruise Purple.”

The strain is reportedly packaged in vials featuring a laughing Tom Cruise and “is currently being sold in licensed marijuana clubs in Northern California,” according to the Chronicle.

Anyone caught growing the purple herb will be punished via abduction by aliens.

  1. Auntie Mayme
    April 7, 2008 at 7:23 am

    The way Tom is so vehemently opposed to drugs, even perscription drug, I wonder if one can even get high off of “Tom Cruise Purple”. Has he visited our local Scientology facility near Capetown?

  2. tad
    April 7, 2008 at 8:34 am

    Peace be with you

    I want to try some! I’ve heard about pot that “can experience hallucinations,” but then when you smoke it doesn’t. I think Tom is probably suing because it doesn’t really cause hallucinations. Is it organic? Is it outdoor? Is it Humboldt? If not I wouldn’t want my name on it either.

    love eternal
    tad

  3. Anonymous
    April 7, 2008 at 8:47 am

    I wouldn’t want anything even remotely connected to Tom Cruise near me. Does it make people crazy like he is?

  4. Anonymous
    April 7, 2008 at 9:07 am

    I thought Tad didn’t use chemicals.

  5. Anonymous
    April 7, 2008 at 9:22 am

    Plants are chemicals?

  6. Anonymous
    April 7, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Don’t even HINT that tad might be using chemicals, or there might be another nuclear meltdown!

  7. Anonymous
    April 7, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    You know, like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s sofa.

  8. ShirleyValentine
    April 8, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Heraldo,

    RE: Auntie Mayme’s comment about Scientology Compound.

    Have you ever written anything about this place? The huge underground vault with all of L.Ron Hubbard’s writings?

  9. April 8, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Yes, Shirley. Click on the first link in my post.

  10. ShirleyValentine
    April 8, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    Thanks Heraldo. I didn’t read the links until after I posted.
    My Mom has been there several times. She won’t even tell ME what she saw! The people who formerly lived on the property were good friends and know the person who lives on site now.

  11. Porfiry Petrovich
    April 9, 2008 at 2:24 pm

    Tom Cruise is such a kook! When will he just go away!? He should be flattered that he’s at least got enough credibility left to have some ganja named after him.

    As for the clubs, I think it’s a great marketing tool for them, and an appropriate name for a strain considering how loco Cruise is.

    Cruise is loaded (with money that is), and I wouldn’t fuck with his lawyers. Then again, a lot of these pot clubs aren’t exactly short on cash either. I hope Cruise tries to sue and looses because he’s such a con-man, egomaniac, little pretty boy brat who can’t even act all that well.

    As for the growers and clubs, I think ya’ll should grow and sell the shit outta the Tom Cruise Purple! It’s a free country, and a free market. And not that this is particularly relevant, but marijuana should be legal anyway, so maybe this whole Purple Cruise thing will draw some humor, and dare I say normalcy (since a lot of people like the guy) towards marijuana in general. Just a thought… .

    This post isn’t as well thought out or articulated as I’d liked, so I hope ya’ll get my drift.

    ~ PP is grinning :-)

    p.s. Hey Tom! Light[en] up guy (pun intended)!

  12. Anonymous
    May 25, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    Ponzi scheme (look it up) = “Church” of “Scientology.”

  13. Porfiry Petrovich
    May 25, 2008 at 11:14 pm

    But is the Tom Cruise Purple a potent, tasty smoke? That’s all I’d really want to know, that’s all that maters, right?

    PP just for funnin’ it :-)

  14. May 26, 2008 at 7:06 am

    PP,
    youll get ripped off if you try to grow it….we are all on to you…..josh told us where you live…

  15. Porfiry Petrovich
    May 31, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    theo, i’m not trippin, brau, i was actualy thinking of asking josh to be my partner since he’s such a great business man, and such a fair guy. you wanna get in on it with us, bro?

  16. Porfiry Petrovich
    June 1, 2008 at 8:43 pm

    we’re about ready to power up the lights theo, but i was wondering if you could give us a market analysis and total gross and net yeild figures. :-)

  17. TrafficoneMan
    June 4, 2008 at 7:21 am

    did some work up in humbolt bout 2 years back its the best smoke i have ever smoked and im from ireland so i have been to amsterdam numerous times there is great stuff there but the humbolt weed is the shit i could not speak or walk after it so if this tom cruise stuff is humbolt grown ide reckon its pretty potent and i wud like to give it a go

  18. MetaMuseAl
    July 11, 2008 at 10:15 pm

    O no mon…purple cruise is passe so they be crossing it with “Hoover-lite” from the Arcata townhouse/pot labs to make a fruity tasting liteheaded blend guaranteed to suspend deep critical thinking while simultaneously inflating ones self importance.
    The hitch? The plants stay short and tend to slouch, but when the genetic kinks are worked out.

  19. cheese & meth..I Love it
    July 27, 2008 at 7:58 am

    WHEW…people do any of you KNOW the history of Tom Cruise Purple??? I dont think you do..do you? lets get it right, lets READ the history of this narcotic and then maybe you can talk on the so called Tom Cruise Purp. GEEZ….by the way..anyone know how the hell I can get to the magical and enchanting Crystal Palace yet?? Tom and I are very curious as to its history and revelance in modern rural humboldt.

  20. TrafficoneMan
    July 30, 2008 at 4:35 am

    cheese & meth type selhurst park into googel and you will find the way to crystal palace

  21. Anonymous
    August 9, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    I’d pay any price to see a moon pitcher of John Wayne punching Tom Cruise right in the mouth.

  22. Guest
    January 20, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Does it make you gay?

  23. Anonymous
    February 14, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    ShirleyValentine Says:

    April 8, 2008 at 1:31 pm
    Heraldo,

    RE: Auntie Mayme’s comment about Scientology Compound.

    Have you ever written anything about this place? The huge underground vault with all of L.Ron Hubbard’s writings?

    ~is that where all the bodies are buried?~

  24. February 14, 2009 at 2:29 pm
  25. Anony.Miss
    February 14, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    I remember this topic came up before. There were quite a few locals (close relatives of mine, for two) who where friends with the contractor and were allowed to come as a group to visit this vault before it was up and running. They didn’t go all the way inside- that wasn’t allowed. From what they told me, there are copper disks in the vault that were imprinted with the history of the world, etc as well as L Ron Hubbard’s teachings so that when the earth is destroyed. future beings will know what we did here.

    I heard it was larger (much) than 8,000 square feet- that is about the size of a three story Victorian or a couple of Hewlitt Ranch subdivision houses. I believe it is at least as large as a football field, but perhaps the stories have gotten bigger as the years have gone by.

    Correct me if I’m wrong.

  26. Humboldtdude
    February 26, 2009 at 10:36 am

    I heard of a strain called the Zenu that is supposed to be the bomb. People are talking about it around Humboldt and in the clubs. It is a green bud strain not purple. It makes you see flying saucers and you feel like you were thrown in a volcano. I guess the scientology lawyers haven’t snubbed that one out yet.

  27. Toroaussie
    May 13, 2009 at 5:15 pm

    tom cruise acid haahaha

  28. Anon
    December 20, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    That vault will be the first place me and all the locals are gonna go…..If we have any problems…see whos gonna get there first….

  29. Hummm boldt
    January 9, 2010 at 10:53 am

    Maybe that compound is really a giant grow?

  30. March 11, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    Our county of humboldt department of public works division of aviation airport manager RLB assigned the division to his church of scientology book and workbook to be processed by the division secretary. One hour of county paid time per week was authorized. The only person punished (kept part time for 17 years while fully meeting or exceeding standards on the annual evaluation)was the man that reported it to then Board of Supervisor.

  31. hlphmbdltplz
    April 24, 2010 at 12:03 am

    where is the closeest church of scientology to arcata i allready know where the closest grow is about 6 feet away from me i love auto flower lowryder mmmmm baby

  32. April 4, 2011 at 2:20 pm

    Blog post subbed – interesting post. Loving your blog.

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