Home > Uncategorized > MADONNA: I got the Bird

MADONNA: I got the Bird

Local media man Andrew Bird wasn’t the only one who turned his back on pop star Madonna at her 50th birthday party.

Bird was invited — vigorously so — to the diva’s Five-O despite repeated denials to Madonna’s personal assistant that he, at no time in his colorful past, boyfriended the star.  That was the other Andrew Bird.

Said Madonna of her b-day bash, “I’m really disappointed.  There are a lot of people who are not here tonight, but thanks to everyone who did make it.”

Way to go, Bird.  Now Humboldt County will never hit the map as a cruise ship destination.

  1. Tom Sebourn
    August 19, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    She’s not bad looking for being 50.

  2. August 19, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    And this other Andrew Bird isn’t the musician Andrew Bird? I knew the musician before I knew our Andy.

    There’s a third Andrew Bird? And Madonna slept with that one?

  3. Anonymous
    August 19, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    he should have milked it, got out of the TS and moved on to People or something. Geez.

  4. Child
    August 20, 2008 at 8:18 am

    Her innards are fifty, but most of her outards are much newer.

  5. Andrew Bird
    August 20, 2008 at 10:08 am

    There are three famous Andrew Birds, plus me.

    1 = Andrew Bird the singer, “The Mysterious Production of Eggs.”
    2 = Andrew Bird, chairman of Walt Disney International
    3 = Andrew Bird, who boffed Madonna for awhile in the late 1990s
    4 = Me

    For awhile in the late ’90s when I was 40ish there was some confusion about the identity of 3 & 4 being the same, especially among some family and friends I hadn’t talked to in awhile. But the photo of the mysterious Andrew Bird No. 3 at the following URL should clear this up for good.


  6. August 21, 2008 at 5:13 pm

    I just came to this thread to get some breathing room, and put my feet up. The other threads are so crowded now-a-days.

    Sorry Andy, I hope you don’t mind.

  7. August 21, 2008 at 9:30 pm

    Lights are blissfully dim in the Madonna room, with a smooth house/pop mix in the background. Get into the Groove.

  8. Andrew Bird
    August 21, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    There’s enough Madonna for all of us.

  9. August 23, 2008 at 4:50 pm

    It reminds me of the Pearl Lounge in here.

  10. August 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm

    Care to buy me a drink?

  11. August 23, 2008 at 5:46 pm

    Hey, it is nice in here. And I love a guy who uses the word “boffed.”

  12. August 23, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    I was going to ask where that term came from but decided to leave it alone.

  13. August 23, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    According to the American Heritage Dictionary:

    Transive: To have sexual intercourse with.
    Intransitive: To engage in sexual intercourse.
    From boff, to hit, variant of buff, from Middle English buffe, a blow, from Old French, of imitative origin.

    I’m not convinced by this etymology, since Miriam Webster’s puts a date on it of 1937. Who’s got an O.E.D.?

    What kind of crappy bar is this?

  14. August 23, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    A variant of buff?

    Next time I’m at the airport I’m going to get my shoes boffed. Kinky. I bet Madonna would like it.

  15. August 23, 2008 at 6:41 pm

    I like the urban dictionary’s definition better:

    Boff: A term to describe quick sexual intercourse which includes the man not taking off his pants and a lot of dry humping.

    But I suppose this bar’s too classy for that kind of talk.

  16. Andrew Bird
    August 23, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    I thought it was a derivative of boffo — extremely great.

  17. doggerelface
    August 23, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Next time I’m at the airport I’m going to get my shoes boffed.

    Just be careful that upon your shoes you don’t bring a plague

    and become an object object of infamy like Larry Craig

    That nervous fellow in the next stall jiggling his leg

    Could very well be someone like Alexander Haig

  18. August 23, 2008 at 7:25 pm

    Doggerel, I hold you in the highest esteem.

  19. August 24, 2008 at 11:20 am

    “A variant of buff?”

    Boffed is a cognate of buffet. Next time you are buffeted by the wind, try to keep your pants on.

  20. August 24, 2008 at 11:22 am

    What about an all-you-can-eat buffet?

    Er, wait…

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