Home > Coastal Commission, Frank Jager > I, Frank Jager, Robot

I, Frank Jager, Robot

I am a nice guy.  Beep.

I get along with all groups.  Beep.

Except the enviros.  Beep.

They are extortionists.  Beep.

I want to be a Coastal Commissioner.  Beep.

But I think environmental protection is a racket.  Beep.

I’m middle of the road.  Beep.

I work well with Republicans. Beep.

I also like Democrats who act like Republicans.  Beep.

I have name recognition and that is power.  Beep.

  1. Anonymous
    December 17, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Del Norte County Supervisor Martha Mc Clure is nominated and looks like the best candidate for the CCC opening. Keep an eye on her.

  2. Big Al
    December 17, 2010 at 10:19 am

    Thanks… now I have no where to sit as I have just laughed my ass off.

  3. WhatNow
    December 17, 2010 at 10:34 am

    I worlked with Frank for years and I’ve always thought he was a poorly animated Disney atrifact.
    Absolutely priceless piece!

  4. Hmmm
    December 17, 2010 at 10:47 am

    I am the first coroner in world history to attribute a head trauma death to LSD overdose. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

  5. Poo Poo Head
    December 17, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Typical bullshit this blog has deteriorated to.

  6. Reality Check
    December 17, 2010 at 11:19 am

    The truth hurts doesn’t it! Frank Jager no business on the CCC. His only experience with environmental issues is his full support of the Marina Center. Gee, any connections! Wake up Eureka! Arkley will only be satisfied with a CCC member of his choosing so he will have free reign over the northcoast. Intelligence means nothing. Experience means nothing. Obedience means everything.
    Thank you Heraldo!

  7. You Will Obey
    December 17, 2010 at 11:30 am

    Mr. A’s empire, his financed candidates and measures, his front group “Thugs for a Better Eureka” led by minion Gary Bird, the Marina Center, and his CCC puppets will bury you all. Methodically, one by one. We know who you are.

    Obedience means everything and you better get in line or you’re gonna get spanked like the errant children you are.

  8. Not A Native
    December 17, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    Pretty funny and completely within normative bounds for political satire.

    Objectors here are simply trying to prevent people from openly acknowledging subjecting to ridicule one aspect of Jager’s demeanor. A significant portion of independent support for Eureka political conservatives is based primarily on image. So its no surprise that partisan conservatives will sharply criticize anyone pointing out image shortcomings. Their political power is at stake.

    Jager’s face always reminds me of the TV character Lurch of the Addams Family and Fred Gwynnne’s in the Munsters. But a clunky preprogrammed robot matches Jager’s public personality. He’s ex-cop, through and through.

  9. Fred
    December 17, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    You have a big nose. Gee, ain’t I witty ha ha.

  10. anonymous
    December 17, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    The better to smell a stinker like you Fred

  11. anon1
    December 17, 2010 at 1:42 pm


  12. tra
    December 17, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    I think the recent Bass/Tyson post was inappropriate, but this one seems fine to me. It’s humorous while remaining true to the facts, and — at least to me — it doesn’t come off as mean-spirited.

    But if Jager really WAS a Hollywood-style robot, I would have expected that some of those contradictions would have been followed by “error…error…does not compute…DOES NOT COMPUTE…”

  13. Not A Native
    December 17, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    tra, those Star Trek episodes are still kicking around in your gray matter.

    But au contraire, Jager is hardly logical enough to suffer any internal contradictions or self doubt. He’s more similar to an assembly line robot that runs just one program, even when its entirely inappropriate. Such as the feeding machine in Chaplin’s Modern Times. The Eureka populace can expect the same indignity that Chaplin experienced from the machine.

  14. tra
    December 17, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Maybe I’m dating myself here, but my idea of a robot probably owes more to Lost in Space.

    “Danger, Will Robinson…Danger!”

  15. Anonymous
    December 17, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    NAN is not nice. So juvenile to even bring up a person’s physical appearance. To balance it out, I will mention that I have always found Mr Jager to be a good looking man. So there.

  16. Anonypus
    December 17, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    Wow, and I thought the Herald was different than the Mirror…..

  17. Steak n Eggs
    December 17, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    Its pretty tacky and shallow stuff to me. A bunch of anonymous people personally slighting somebody cause he holds a vote different than yours. Whatever.

  18. anon1
    December 17, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    and steak n eggs, Isn’t?

  19. Decline to State
    December 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    The quote that made me snort milk through my nose this morning in today’s Times Standard article was “the the person who is nominated needs to be able to ‘sit down and work with all these groups,’ an ability Jager said he himself brings to the table.”

    Oh my! The final sentence in the article was the one that contains my only hope, “because you’re going to have to go through it all again when Gov. Moonbeam gets in.” I say, thank goodness!

  20. Anonypus
    December 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Time to search for a grown-up blog that can discuss hot button topics with wit, intelligence and careful thought. The Herald and the Mirror are both disappointments. Fred’s maybe? Or the blathering Henchman should give it a go?

  21. Chyle Pleez
    December 17, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    Nice, Heraldo. Right up there with the 12 Bon Bons of Christmas. Congrats.

  22. anon1
    December 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    The attacks you speak of are no different than the attacks you do with explanation…There are no good blogs..Then why are you here?

    December 17, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    Slow news day today?

    How about this: Environmentalists crammed corn ethanol down our throats as an alternative “green energy” to fossile fuels like coal, oil, etc…Now, reps say corn ethanol is as bad or worse than that which it was supposed to replace – their reasoning is that they NOW HAVE THE PROPER RESEARCH DATA.

    So, there is a news story worthy of reparations.

    Jeffrey Lytle
    McKinleyville – 5th District

  24. A-Nony-Mouse
    December 17, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Except it was the farm lobby that sold us the corn derived methanol. If methanol is what you want, you can get many times more gallons per ton from sugar cane. That still doesn’t make it a good idea, only a cheaper one.

  25. longwind
    December 17, 2010 at 9:51 pm

    We can’t have methanol, you can drink it without going blind, and that’s a no-no. Cheap drinkers (of ethanol) have gone blind ever since Prohibition ended. Oh well. (they did it before too, but drunks in the know favored methanol.)

  26. Sam Spade
    December 18, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Bush, Palin, Jager. Y R wii© so stoopid?

  27. Chyle Pleez
    December 18, 2010 at 7:52 am

    anon1 says:
    December 17, 2010 at 5:49 pm
    “The attacks you speak of are no different than the attacks you do with explanation…There are no good blogs..Then why are you here?’

    Looking for intelligent life. Thanks for trying.

  28. Anonymous
    December 18, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    The Jager/Endert team repeatedly complained that their opponents were inappropriately making the city council a “partisan race” in 2008.

    Once in office, Jager selected a group of partisans to chose a partisan to replace him.

    In a sharply divided community, even a troop of cub scouts would have understood the ethical fairness of either holding a special election, or simply appointing whoever won the second-highest votes for a vacated seat. (If our “representatives” were honestly interested in having all the city represented).

    In a rigged system, liars and hypocrites take-all.

  29. Big Al
    December 18, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    did any of you get the telephone poll about who to replace Frank’s council seat yet?

  30. Anonymous
    December 18, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    “Environmentalists crammed corn ethanol down…”

    Nice stereotyping Henchman. I don’t know any environmentalists who think ethanol is a good idea.

    Environmentalists have said that it actually takes more energy (mostly from fossil fuel) to manufacture ethanol than the energy it will provide (between fertilizer, transport, manufacturing, etc). They’ve said this for since at least the 1990s.

    Just because you or someone else says, “environmentalists say…” doesn’t make it so.

  31. owltotem
    December 18, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    You have to add the energy associated with manufacturing the farming equipment in order to tip the energy balance for ethanol to negative. The better arguments are that we do not need to combust carbon for transportation, and ag land, should be preserved for producing food, until a transformation in that industry trends toward sustainability. There is big big money in continuing our dependence on carbon combustion sources of energy production. Research and development are the keys to transforming the energy industry, not just more sources for oil.

  32. owltotem
    December 18, 2010 at 4:00 pm
  33. Random Guy
    December 18, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    hmmm @ 10:47, no kidding! WHAT THE HELL!?!?! Why didn’t ANY of the local media outlets point that out during the campaigns?!??! That would have INSTANTLY failed him in the eyes of so many voters.

  34. A-Nony-Mouse
    December 18, 2010 at 6:27 pm

    Sorry, Longwind. I put an M in front of ethanol where it doesn’t belong. My mistake.

  35. December 19, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    Yes, this blog no longer stands out from any other. Shame.

  36. Anonymous
    December 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm

    I hold heraldo responsible for the degrading of this blog.

  37. A-Nony-Mouse
    December 20, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Maybe if some of you Anonymous guys would leave, the neighborhood would improve.

  38. Anonymous
    December 20, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    You first dip-wad.

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