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The Humboldt Herald 
Andrew saved you, Seven-o-Heaven, from the angry drunken Abatistas and this is how you thank him?!? Ive got a petition….
Spot on (as usual)!
Brilliant!
What spoof? THIS HAPPENED!
I find it very interesting that there is a lot of discussion on the Humboldt Mirror regarding Linda Atkins and Garr Neilsen asking the Board to renew his contract. If this did happen, and happen at the closed meeting, then the only people that knew about this were at the meeting. If there a leak somewhere?
Art, imitating life. In Eureka, you don’t have to make it up.
What happened in the closed meeting was not about extending
Garr Nielsen contract. The grapevine says they took a straw
vote to fire Garr Nielsen. The Brown Act clearly states that if a
straw vote is taken it must be disclosed at the end of the closed
session. The loose lips were not Linda’s. The Humboldt Mirror
can twist or try to twist it anyway they can, it still is going to
come around and kick them in the butt.
Andrew,
Do you have anything in writing? You may have a claim. Incidentally, Mr. Startare appears to be holding Steelhead, so the pretense of his being a Pabst Blue Ribbon swiller is clearly phoney.
It’s good I’m in town! Don’t worry Will, I support you.
Shall I get the citizens to send him a very large check, say,, $160,000? Freedom comes with a price you know.
@Goldie. Yes.
Union Beer while grilling. Well played.
“Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer”: The breakfast of champions….Ft Gorgon GA 1966….Touché!
Ft Gordon. (SP)
Re-read the captions, Mitch. He says he’s done with restrictions to PBR access and chicks. Neither are in the cartoon. We see him, therefore, in the very act of throwing off his chains. Only time will tell if anyone else will by him beer. Maybe a global investigation is called for.
or buy him beer ….
Donky Kong tee, classic.
Sunday night 3am. got it Will. I’ll be there. You better show or I’ll never buy your strip again.
So will it be renamed “3.5 0’Heaven” or “8.0 Heaven”? Numerologists need to know.
Atkins is complicit. Otherwise she’d have leaked the decision of the council.
Meanwhile,Joel is busy making fun of the local people and sub-cultures.
No, Linda is not an accomplice. Right now she is what is known as
between a rock and a hard place. First, she took an oath to
uphold the law when she took office. Second, If someone reveals what when on in a closed session, it can be a misdemeanor and
she could be removed from office. Third: The only way to handle this is to put in an complaint to the D.A. Upon investigation she
could be called in for a deposition. That is the legal way she could
relate what went on in that closed session.
Too funny. They talk so much about Pabst Blue Ribbon when in the last panel Will is drinking Sierra Nevada. Just think that’s funny.
Dude, if Joel makes fun of you; you’ll know you’ve arrived.
Brilliant.
Fucking genius! Nuff said!
Andrew, if you’re looking for a good lawyer, may I suggest Russ Clanton?
Hey folks, he sure scored for Dave Gunderson…
If you were writing a script for the Soap Opera that is Eureka, you couldn’t make this stuff up.
I’m still trying to process DeeDee Wilson’s grand appearance.
To be spoofed by Seven-0-Heaven means you are Famous
or Infamous..Whatever
Many are spoofable; few are chosen.
I don’t get it.
By Executive Order, the City Of Eureka, now duly reorganized with the Citizen Posse Comitatus Having Full Lawful Carnal Knowledge and all of its tinkerings, the following theretofore and forthwith, henceforth and forthright, hereby and so on and so forth, will be as follows:
Due to continuous sacking, the Police Department has been renamed. It will now be designated the Please Department. Please, people. Under the direction of the Chief of Please, Keystone hats, seltzer water, and cream pies will be issued to all newly hired CADETS (Can’t Add, Don’t Even Try) until the CHAOS (Chief Has Arrived On Scene) program is in place. The SWAT team has been disbanded. However, the Special High Intensity Tactics team will take its place. It happens. The Dodge (Dead On Day Guarantee Expires ) vehicles that replaced the Ford (Fix or Repair Daily) vehicles will now be replaced by the more predictable Jeep (Just Expect Every Problem). It works. We’ll figure out how to pay for it later. See Auditing Department below.
Cutting costs to improve BF, GF, and BFF relationships, the Finance Dept. has been shortened for amorous clarity. Love is like an electric blanket and we control the switch. The first ‘n’ of Finance has been dropped. Commissioners selected for the newly formed Fiance Dept. are as follows: Seymour Butts, Amanda Huggenkiss, Hugh Jass, Bibi Dahl, Harry Rump, and Plenty O’Toole. Just roll with it.
We also dropped the L from Public Works. We gave that to the City Manager below. Pubic Works will not require coveralls; however, working solely in boxers or briefs is. Pubic Works will request a trimmed and neat appearance in addition to a certification of jive birth. Deal with it.
The City Attorney was changed to City Lawyer. We didn’t like that, so we shortened it to just Lawyer. We didn’t like that either, so now it’s simply Liar. More honest.
The Auditing Department is now the Adding To Department. We didn’t actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure. With the passing of Measure O-Ho-Ho-Ho, we’re flush now and we don’t need no stinkin’ packed chamber of a public meeting on how to spend it. Poker and plumbing has given us our motto and mission: a royal flush always beats a full house. If you didn’t think money can buy happiness, you just don’t know where to shop. See City Projects below.
The City Manager duties will remain the same. However, the title has been changed to City Mangler. No explanation needed. Ok, we took out an A. He’s not a complete ass.
City Projects. To increase revenue covering up revenue received from revenue we didn’t know was, where, had, or went revenue, the City and Posse unanimously approved the exciting partnering of Redevelopment Funds with ArkCo.
Construction will start surprisingly soon for:
Taco Bellevue Hospital
Spinster City Myrtle Avenue Apartments
Sorry Proggie, Once the Pony Dies the Free Ride Is Over West Side Trailer Park
Nuts Landing Dog Neutering Clinic
Turn Your Head & Coif, Curl Up & Dye Cutten Hair Salon
Bloodbath and Beyond Gun Shop
Gone Fission~ King Salmon Boat Tours
Old Town Bodacious Frittatas
Eye Caramba!~ Laser Surgery Eye Clinic
Stoner’s Pot Palace~ Henderson Center’s Place For Your Pots, Pans and Kitchen Gadgets
The China Syndrome~ Leaded Dishes and Tea Sets
Merry Widow Life Insurance~ Denial, Anger, Ca$h
AAAAA~ The Organization and Halfway House for Humboldt Drunk Drivers
It Blows~ Eureka’s Premiere Air Conditioning Supplies and Service
It Sucks~ Eureka’s Premiere Vacuum Cleaner Supplies and Service
The City Council will remain the same. The Cone of Silence will remain until the official CYA-D&R (Cover Your Act, Duck and Run) consulting program is in place.
The Mayor has selected two Chairmen of the Bored for his e-stuff and kinda lightening up the place: Andrew Goff and Will Startare.
A laughtrack will be provided. PBR and jester hats required.
Yer killin’ me
Brilliant, Skippy.
One spelling change, for the clueless…
“It will now be designated the Puhlease Department. Puhlease, people.”
Puhlease is better, Mitch.
Puhleased as punch.
Following continually flagrant skewerings by Seven-O-Heaven despite the City’s successful partnership with ArkCo @1:20 above, we’ve now expanded with the Small-Mart Company to bring you the latest in our new Redevelopment Block Grants, Phase II, City Joint Venture Projects, here.
Duh.